Do you remember that after I wrote the five chapters about dating, love and marriage? (See my five blog posts “How to Forget About a Crush?”, “Are You Ready to Date?”, “Are You Ready for Marriage?”, “How to know a Real Love?” and “How Can You Carry On a Successful Courtship?”) Here is a message for you:
You just expect someone will love you and will marry you, and stay with you forever. And will enjoy company with you, share with your interests, and sense an affection with you. Then you realize that nothing happens in your life. It’s a love at first sight.
There are many fishes in the sea and you have a hard time to find who your real love is. Plus, many times you feel that love can’t find you. But love can find you when you stop searching for someone who will love you. You just get to control the feeling for someone. Love is not jealous. And when you see the romantic couples are holding the hands, staring at each other affectionately, embracing each other and kissing each other, you feel jealous, and wishing you have someone that like you and love you. You learn how to deal with jealous, and love yourself first. Do not agonize on how low you are when you can’t find someone who like you and love you. Love will find you when you love yourself first.
Do not be feeling of rejection. Think about the goals that you plan. If you have goals, then you have the future. One young woman speaks of herself as hurt because of feeling rejected. “I can only be a ‘Hi, how are you?’ person now,” she says. “I am not letting any person get close to me.” The deeper the commitment you feel is rejected. Don’t be that way. It’s someone’s loss for not seeing you in his or her life.
Yes, indeed, the freedom to romance whom you wish carries a heavy price tag: rejection. There is no guarantee that a true love will grow on your tree. So if someone began courting you with honest intentions but later on nothing happen in your life, you will feel unfair. You deal with unfair is not necessarily. Let it go. It’s his or her loss.
The problem is, even when you expect someone will be honest with you, but lie to you, you will feel rejected and hurt. No reason to lose you, but that is happening. The fact that you are wrong in someone’s eyes does not mean that you will be wrong in the eyes of someone’s else!
Try not to feel like you are a defunct person. You are loved! And loss will turn to be nothing is happening. Because love will find you when you love yourself first. And someone will involve your life – maturity, good intentions, flexibility, tolerance, consideration for your feelings. These are not hardly desirable qualities in a marriage mate.
What if love find you and you will have a marriage mate in your life? Certainly you are happy with someone who like you and love you. Perhaps a true love will grow on your tree if the two of you will last forever. Regrets nothing with you accomplish of love and marriage. But remember that the world is imperfect where you live, and if your courtship will fall apart, there is no need to humiliate yourself, tearfully begging for someone that have no affections and no feelings for you. Solomon said, …a time to keep, and a time to cast away.-Ecclesiastes 3:6.
Do not suspect at someone who used you for not having a sincere interest in marrying you. And do not be his or her avenger. It’s his or her loss. Be assured that God notices his or her dishonesty. God says, …cruel troubleth his own flesh.-Proverbs 11:17; also read Proverbs 6:12-15.
From time to time you may still be tormented by hopeless and loneliness for not having a real love in your life. It’s happening. It’s okay for you to have a good cry. It also helps you to get busy, and stay strong. Talk to your family or friend(s) you trust, go out to fun activities or the Christian missionary. Keep your mind positive. (Philippians 4:8) Be confident in your close friend. (Proverbs 18:24) Your parents are also being of great comfort, even you feel you are old enough to follow your own rules. (Proverbs 23:22) But the most important thing is, be confident in the LORD.
You may need to work on your personality and someone to see you in your life. Your dream of marriage may be coming true. And having loved and lost, you handle courtship a bit more prudently should a desirable person come along again – the likelihood of which you may be greater than you expect.
I hope you have a lovely Tuesday. Tomorrow is the new Wednesday. :) <3, Loiriam