Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Introduction and Chapter One: "How to Forget About a Crush?"

Hello everyone! I'm going to write the five stories about dating, love and marriage. The new feelings and emotions that flow through your body. But how do you feel? Is this love that last forever? Or what? And what should you do about your feelings? Let each of us examine the sensible answers to the questions on the subject of romance.

Crush is as common as cold. Why say that? Because of when you have a crush on someone who is not your girlfriend or your boyfriend, you experience  wanting to date someone, and manage to live without a crush. But when you are caught in the power of a crush, you frustrate because you cannot do anything with it. You know that someone who is too old for you, but you like her or him. You was really bent out of shape over the whole thing.

The Form of a Crush

Having a crush on someone who you like is not a sin. From my understanding, when you have a wife or a husband, be satisfied and forget about a crush. (Proverbs 5:1-8, 11, 15-20) When you are young, it hard for you to flee your desires. Still you learn how to control your strong desires unleashed by your puberty, you can be full of whipped-up romantic feelings and you have no one to cover your feelings.

Add to the girls become...elegant bearing ease at very early age than the boys. From my understanding, the boys are immature and are not exciting compared to the older, unattainable men. A girl imagine that her favorite male teacher, soul singer, or some older acquaintance is the ideal man. Boys often become a faked love to the girls. But the love is reality and is such distant from the fantasy. This is called a true love.

Why Crushes Can Be Harmful

Life is short when it comes to have a crush, still crush can do a lot of damage to you. For one thing, crush is not worth in your affection. Ecclesiastes 10:6 explains 'foolishness is set in great dignity'. So a singer is idolized because he is not reality to the dream of his female young fan. But the question is, is he a true follower of Christ?-1 Corinthians 7:22, 23, 39

The Bible also warns about who you are friend with. Would it not a risk to be friend with God if you set your heart on a person whose make God punishes? Either the Bible commands you to keep yourselves from idols. What would you call it when you decorates your wall to wall with pictures of a singer? Would not the word "idolatry" fit your understanding? How could this possibly please God?
Some of you even allow your fantasies to overrule reason. One young woman says, "Whenever I ask him how he feels - he always denies having any feeling for me. But I can tell by the way he looks and acts that this isn't true." The young man in question has tried to be kind in expressing his disinterest, but she just won't take no for an answer.

Another girl describes her infatuation with a popular singer that she want him to be her boyfriend, and her prayer cannot be answered it. She used to sleep with his albums because that was the closest she could get to him. And if she could not have him, she could kill herself! Is she do what Romans 12:3 commands her?

Proverbs 13:2 explains 'Hope postponed make the heart sick.' Developing romantic expectations for an impossible relationship is very unhealthy, unopened understanding love being cited by psychiatrist as a cause of "depression, anxiety, and general distress...sleepness or...chest pains or breathlessness." Compare to the scripture 2 Samuel 13:1, 2. It tells that David's son Amnon felt sick of Tamar and was impossible to be in love. One infatuated girl explains her confession about him that she couldn't eat...couldn't study anymore, etc, etc. She was miserable.

Think of the damage you cause when you allow a fantasy to rule your life. Dr. Lawrence Bauman observes that one of the first evidences of a runaway crush is "loosen off of school effort." Not with friends and family is another problem. There can also be humiliated. Gil Schwartz, a writer admitted that he was embarrassed, but he behaved like a fool during his crush on Judy. Long after your crush dissipates you, your memories following someone around, making a scene in public, and in general making a fool of yourself can last.

Facing Reality

King Solomon ever lived, fell desperately in love with a girl who did not return his feelings. He poured upon her some of the most beautiful poetry ever written, telling her she was beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun - and got absolutely nowhere with her!-Song of Solomon 6:10

But Solomon eventually gave up his attempts to win her over. What about you? Can you forget about a crush? Proverbs 28:26 tells you that trusting in your own heart by yourself is not wise. This is exactly true when you are caught up in a romantic fantasy. But if you are walking in wisdom, you will escape from romantic fantasy. This means that you are where you are now, the reality.

Do you have a person who is your crush thus far shown any interest in you at all? If not, is there any real reason to believe that things will change in the future? Or are you simply reading romantic interest into innocent words and actions on his or her part? Incidentally, in most countries, it is customary for men to plan for romance. A young girl can embarrass herself by aggressively keeping someone who simply is not interested.

Besides, what would you do if the person actually returned your affections? Are you ready for the responsibilities of marriage? If not, then remove displeasure from your heart by living in the reality. There is "a  time to love" might be years later when you are older.-Ecclesiastes 3:8; 11:10

Examine Your Feelings

Dr. Charles Zastrow observes, "Infatuation occurs when a person idealizes the person she or he is infatuated with as being a 'perfect lover', that is, concludes that the other person has all of the characteristics desired in a mate." But there is no "perfect lover" exists. As the scripture explains that "all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."-Romans 3:23

So ask yourself: How well do I really know this person I have set my heart on? Am I in love with an image? Am I blinding myself to this person's flaws? Look at your dream lover may be enough to pull you out of your romantic stupor! Also, examine the kind of love you feel for this person is helpful. Read the beautiful scripture 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

Forget About a Crush

You admits your reason of the world does not erase your feelings. But you can avoid that problem. The worse feeling of loneliness is when you are reading the steamy romance novels, watching TV love stories, or just listening to certain kinds of music. So refuse to dwell on that situation. "Where no wood is, there be fire goeth out..."-Proverbs 26:20

No one in a fantasy romance really love you and care for you. Don't be alone. (Proverbs 18:1) For all your attempts to hide your feelings, why not express them out to someone you know? Compare to scripture Proverbs 23:26 says, "My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways." Also, a mature Christian have a good listening ear that you can tell how you feel.

In order to keep busy by forgetting about a crush, take up a hobby, do some exercise, study a new language, begin a Bible research project. 

Forgetting about a crush is not easy. But with the passage of time, the pain will rules you. You will have learned much about yourself and feelings, and you will be better prepared to deal with real love should it come in the future! But if you recognize real love, will you be ready to date? The next chapter will answer your question: "Am I ready to date?".

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