Love Will Find You

Do you remember that after I wrote the five chapters about dating, love and marriage? (See my five blog posts “How to Forget About a Crush?”, “Are You Ready to Date?”, “Are You Ready for Marriage?”, “How to know a Real Love?” and “How Can You Carry On a Successful Courtship?”) Here is a message for you:

You just expect someone will love you and will marry you, and stay with you forever. And will enjoy company with you, share with your interests, and sense an affection with you. Then you realize that nothing happens in your life. It’s a love at first sight.

There are many fishes in the sea and you have a hard time to find who your real love is. Plus, many times you feel that love can’t find you. But love can find you when you stop searching for someone who will love you. You just get to control the feeling for someone. Love is not jealous.  And when you see the romantic couples are holding the hands, staring at each other affectionately, embracing each other and kissing each other, you feel jealous, and wishing you have someone that like you and love you. You learn how to deal with jealous, and love yourself first. Do not agonize on how low you are when you can’t find someone who like you and love you. Love will find you when you love yourself first.

Do not be feeling of rejection. Think about the goals that you plan. If you have goals, then you have the future. One young woman speaks of herself as hurt because of feeling rejected. “I can only be a ‘Hi, how are you?’ person now,” she says. “I am not letting any person get close to me.” The deeper the commitment you feel is rejected. Don’t be that way. It’s someone’s loss for not seeing you in his or her life.

Yes, indeed, the freedom to romance whom you wish carries a heavy price tag: rejection. There is no guarantee that a true love will grow on your tree. So if someone began courting you with honest intentions but later on nothing happen in your life, you will feel unfair. You deal with unfair is not necessarily. Let it go. It’s his or her loss.

The problem is, even when you expect someone will be honest with you, but lie to you, you will feel rejected and hurt. No reason to lose you, but that is happening. The fact that you are wrong in someone’s eyes does not mean that you will be wrong in the eyes of someone’s else!

Try not to feel like you are a defunct person. You are loved! And loss will turn to be nothing is happening. Because love will find you when you love yourself first. And someone will involve your life – maturity, good intentions, flexibility, tolerance, consideration for your feelings. These are not hardly desirable qualities in a marriage mate.

What if love find you and you will have a marriage mate in your life? Certainly you are happy with someone who like you and love you. Perhaps a true love will grow on your tree if the two of you will last forever. Regrets nothing with you accomplish of love and marriage. But remember that the world is imperfect where you live, and if your courtship will fall apart, there is no need to humiliate yourself, tearfully begging for someone that have no affections and no feelings for you. Solomon said, …a time to keep, and a time to cast away.-Ecclesiastes 3:6.

Do not suspect at someone who used you for not having a sincere interest in marrying you. And do not be his or her avenger. It’s his or her loss. Be assured that God notices his or her dishonesty. God says, …cruel troubleth his own flesh.-Proverbs 11:17; also read Proverbs 6:12-15.

From time to time you may still be tormented by hopeless and loneliness for not having a real love in your life. It’s happening. It’s okay for you to have a good cry. It also helps you to get busy, and stay strong. Talk to your family or friend(s) you trust, go out to fun activities or the Christian missionary. Keep your mind positive. (Philippians 4:8) Be confident in your close friend. (Proverbs 18:24) Your parents are also being of great comfort, even you feel you are old enough to follow your own rules. (Proverbs 23:22) But the most important thing is, be confident in the LORD.

You may need to work on your personality and someone to see you in your life. Your dream of marriage may be coming true. And having loved and lost, you handle courtship a bit more prudently should a desirable person come along again – the likelihood of which you may be greater than you expect.

I hope you have a lovely Tuesday. Tomorrow is the new Wednesday. :) <3, Loiriam

Chapter Five: "How Can You Carry On a Successful Courtship?"

The phrase: "Most marriage failures are courtship failures." should not fit everyone. But sadly yes, most they do. Louise expressed her biggest mistake was getting attached affectionately to Andy before she allowed herself to see what he was like as a person. Their courtship had been pretty much limited to one-on-one settings. Louise never saw how Andy reacted outside these 'ideal' situations. That situation causes by divorce. How to avoid failing courtship? Carrying on a successful courtship!

The Happy Married Old Couple <3<3

Before You Are Dating

The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.-Proverbs 14:15

If you don't know this person you are dating, it invites disaster. Even marriage can be worst if you marry this wrong person! It is wise for you to observe this person before you are ahead to date. Also, it helps you find out what kind of reputation he or she has by talking with someone who knows the person well. 

Your First Date

When you met your first date, he or she might be a suitable marriage mate for you if after you expressed a desire to get to know him or her better. Your first date need not be some complicated affair, which is a positive response. Maybe during lunchtime date or being part of a group date, you can and will suit to become a better acquainted so as to decide whether you want to continue to be in a relationship. Keeping cool helps ease your nervous for your first date. And express maturely as a good commitment, so that your first date will not lose his or her interest in you.

The type of date planned is to show up on time, dress neatly and appropriately. Chat well with your first date. Be a good listener to your first date. (James 1:19) A young man will want to follow local rules of etiquette. These are including opening the door for a young lady or help her with the seat. A young woman need to cooperate modestly with her date. By treating each other with respect, a couple set a plan for the future. Read the good scriptures 1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 5:33. Show affection appropriately without selfish. Such like holding hands, kissing, and embracing so that you and date can be clean. Remember my blog about no premarital sex. That is important for you to know what to do while you are dating. As you are showing self-control, you can focus on a successful courtship.

Better Know A Person Than Dating A Wrong One

1 Peter 3:4 explains 'better know the secret person of the heart than dating the wrong one.'

Good to learn more about a secret person of the heart. So plan to go out with him or her by going to the cinema theater or musical concert may help you know more about that person. Also, add to communicate with him or her while roller skating, bowling, visiting zoo, any museum, and art gallery, can do more to help you know him or her better. To take a look at your partner's feelings, try  opening questions like 'Are you available for Friday night?' 'If we don't have any money, what thing will you like to do?' 'What feature of our worship of God do you like the best? Why?' These are allowing to response you that help you learn what your partner's treasures.

As in a relationship deepens, the two of you are very seriously consider marriage. There is serious need to talk about future. Where and how you will live; you work outside the home; children; birth control; concepts of each one's role in marriage; and both immediately and many goals and how you plan to achieve these. Also, your health matters, such as any serious diseases, your consequences need to be frankly discussed with your partner, which is important. As Job 33:3 tells you to express straight from your heart and speak sincerely. Explain how your courtship prepared you for what proved to be a happy marriage. Always be honest with what you agree or disagree with your partner.

Do not be afraid to speak with your partner. Ask your partner about what to do with money in the future. And make sure that the two of you have the same saving goal.

Furthermore, be prepared to ask a lot more questions can be the best qualities of the heart that need to be seen before marriage.

Watch His or Her Action!

A person can be very nice to you. But really you don't expect when others are around him or her, and he or she can be interacting them more than you are. One of your friends might say that your partner like him or her more than you are. Now you get to see yourself how you reacts under pressure. Will you doubt your friend? During your courtship, interact your partner's friends and family and yours helps tremendously.

Add to you two are spending time working together. Share in faith works, including read the Bible to each other and go on the missionary together. Also, clean the house, go to the grocery store, and prepare the meals that after marriage will become a habitual life. By being together under real-life circumstances, you can see what your partner is doing to you.

And to make a similar assessment takes time. So avoid a quick courtship. (Proverbs 21:5) Usually a man and woman will win each other's love. But if they don't hurry to marry, then their courtship are successful. And their future marriage will not be failed. And their life in marriage will be happy. 

This is the end of chapter. But the more you prepare for dating, and a successful courtship, you will be happy with your marriage mate. :) Love, Loiriam

Chapter Three: "Are You Ready for Marriage?"

Hello, I haven't been blogging new chapter, "Are You Ready for Marriage?" for last week. The reason is: Heavy duty on the farm, which my two young cousins are back to school. And after working, I felt my arms and legs are "numb". So I decided to not to blog, but watching a movie and listening to my favorite music. But now I can blog. :)

Marriage is not a game. God intended for husbands and wives to remain closeness. Read the beautiful scripture Genesis 2:24. A marriage mate is thus someone you stick to - or be stuck with - for the rest of your life.

What I understand is that, when rushing to marry someone can lead to disaster. Why? The answer to this have strong bearing not ready for marriage.

Great Expectations

Sadly, many young people are not sure what marriage is. They thought they enjoy being together, or not do the house chores, but that not the way marriage is. Many young people simply want to get married to escape a bad situation at home, at school, or in their community. But marriage is not covered up the problems. Because of marriage can pops up the problems such like lost the job, financial situation, heat arguments, etc. Vicky experienced her first child at aged 20 told that many teenagers get married to play house. It looks like such fun! You think of a baby as a little doll, something that is so cute and that you can just play with, but not that. It's serious. 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4 explains that when you two finished married, you two have authority to touch each other bodies.

Wisely, the Bible encourages you two to get married so that you two won't sin.-1 Corinthians 7:36

Ready for Your Roles

Marry someone who think not only sex, but communicate with you, support you, love you and something treat you well. So that you won't be fooled.

Before you get married, make sure that you keep cleaning house and know how to cook. Some of you men think only women clean the house and cook, and so you can lean on them. Is that true? No. You men can clean the house and cook. As to help each other in the house during marriage. Even single men can do them by themselves. You don't need a woman to lean on. Same as us single women don't need a man to lean on for repairing in the house and cutting the grass in the backyard. But if you want to get married, you need to make sure that you do skilled domestically. Like what you know about marriage, marriage is not a game. It's serious. Get that?

And, how about have you ever supporting your family before you get married? Like for example, you daughters, tend to help your dad by fixing the meals and sewing his clothes when its rip? It is something you daughters get ready for marrying your man after your dad.

Be Financially Responsible

Before you get married, make sure that you are always responsible to finance so that you won't have marital discord for your future marriage. Also, make sure that you have budget. So that you won't have a biggest problem with spending family income. How do you have income? By going to work and keeping a job can solve your money problems. And that you won't feel pain. If you want to have fun things to do with your life, make sure to see what left you have in your bank. Or if you want to save money for future, save what left you have in your bank. Thus, you two won't start lots of heat arguments and unhappiness.

You know that marriage is working when it comes to communicate and support each other every day. That is love. Also, having a job is important. Because of you see what happen to the marriage. One homeless young man explained about what happened to him and his ex-wife. One commentator told him a lesson is to not to get married. I read the scripture Proverbs 24:27 advises you to 'prepare your work out of home, and make it fit for yourself in the field; and after that, you build your own house.' I like that scripture. Building the house to own is better than mortgaging or renting home. Thus, no marriage have that type of problem.

Knotting Together

Same life goal is worth in marriage. While you are not yet married, if your life goal is not the same as your mate, is it worth to marry your mate? The better answer is no. Because of you don't want that problem.

Knotting together is not the point about making good looks. But the point is love. Love is key. If you want to marry someone who is so handsome, read Proverbs 31:30. It warns you, Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain...

Examine Yourselves

It is a snare to the man who devoureth that which is holy, and after vows to make enquiry.-Proverbs 20: 25 

Does examine yourself in the light of the scriptures before you enter into something as serious as a vow of marriage make sense? Just what are your goals in life? How will these be affected by marriage? Do you want to get married for getting experienced of having sex with your mate or to escape your family problems?

Also, on what level are you in? Are you ready for taking on the role of husband or wife? Are you able to manage a household or to make a living? If you always find conflict with your parents, will you be able to get along with your marriage mate? Can you endure with marriage problems? Have you truly handle the money? Your parents will doubt if you think you are ready for marriage.

Marriage can be either happy and most bitter pain. It depends on how ready you are for it. If you are not ready for marriage, why not wait until you are ready for it? Waiting won't harm you. It simply give you time you truly need to be ready and take that serious - and permanent - step of marriage.