A Friend is not a big mouth person

Anonymous is safe. But with description, it can be known.-me, Loiriam

#badexperience #OhIKnowWho #OhThatsYou 

Oh, my goodness. From what I experience today and also, yesterday, too is that...God! Heh heh! Wow. … I lost my trust in friend. What's the reason? Well, friend is not just a friend. But friend is those who like a person is a friend. A friend is with a friend that do not necessary to share the name with other people who a friend does not like, or dislike about word or action. With a friend that share the name with other people is not a friend. It's a big mouth! How do I feel? I feel mad and valueless in with a friend. It's sound like she betrays me. She does not keep my name secrets. I wonder if she thinks she is my friend, but share my feeling about that I dislike in another person's word? Is she my friend? Hm.  

What about you? Did you experience that situation? If yes, leave a comment about what friend is. Thank you.

Introduction and Chapter One: Why I Don't Like Myself and How Can I Like Myself?

As dedicated to the late beloved comedian, Robin Williams, I want to share the story about why I feel this way. This story is based to not only me, but related to everyone who have experience. I am writing the five chapters about the feeling are 'dislike myself', 'depression', 'loneliness', 'shyness', and 'grief'. The first chapter I wrote for today is here below:

Why I Don't Like Myself?  

My story is not special. I has an experience of having no assertion. Because of people tend to force me what I don't like. This makes me not like myself, but I learn a lesson is to love my neighbor as myself. 

My limitation frustrates me, because of what my abilities are. For example, no freedom for me. It is truly based on my experience. I cannot achieve to make my parents release me to freedom. 

I had a learner's permit. I tried to get my parents and people who I know (have a driver's license) teach me how to drive, but none of them want to teach me. So I tried again to get my learner's permit back but I had to start over again to take a test and I failed so many times. I cannot achieve to pass that tough second learner's permit test. It frustrates me! How wrongful they are!

How Can I Like Myself?

There are two skills that I can do for the people. 1) I cook a meal and feed  the hungry people. And 2) I give the medicine and care the sick people. These are the skills that I can do, but I have only food certification in my real world job. I do not work as a nurse in the real world hospital job. The qualities that I need to practice are studious, patient, compassionate, generous, and kind.

My making the dinner 

What are my brief checklist?

1. I set realistic goals are learning how to compose the music for my poems/lyrics, learning French, and learning how to sew the dolls.

2. As a good worker, I can take a pleasure in whatever work I do at home or home school by doing it skillfully and conscientiously.

3. I pick my friends carefully who are truly interested in my welfare, ...build me up.

4. I can be a  closet friend of my God. He is my high and my fortress. James 4:8 helps me how to draw closer to Him.

The next chapter 'depression' I will post tomorrow.